


One Page at a Time

by silentamethyst



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Enemies to Lovers, F/M, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-05-03
Updated: 2018-06-08
Packaged: 2019-05-01 10:36:14
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 6,295
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14518623
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/silentamethyst/pseuds/silentamethyst
Summary: “You’re something, little Scavenger.”





	1. Chapter 1

“...And we are so glad to welcome the class of 2022 to Stirling University. We hope that you all see this as the beginning to a long, bright future ahead. Thank you.”

The auditorium filled with claps, cheers, and whoops of college students excited with the prospect of their first semester of freshman year. Orientation was always a stressful time for Ben. Students asking him too many questions and forgetting that the campus hang-out was in fact not the library. He watched the whole scene with a feeling of detachment.

Ben himself had once been one of those students, down below him. He now sat in the faculty balcony, though he wasn’t within the circle of professors and intellectuals that were Stirling University’s many accolades and merits. He simply worked in the library, helping students find what they needed and navigate their studies. He found out quite abruptly that having a love for literature didn’t necessarily mean being a librarian was all it was cracked up to be. When he first started out he figured maybe the job would be a good segue into his writing career, being that since he had attended the school himself connections might open up. Then, all of the sudden he was twenty nine and still doing it, feeling a little bit lost in himself and the pull of a steady job, not to mention unable to write anything he felt was half decent.

He noticed people were starting to rise around him, shuffling out of the now brightened auditorium and making their way to first classes or dorms or whatever else kids did these days. He simply remained there for a few more moments, thinking about whatever his mind lead him to.

A minute later, Ben shook himself from his thoughts. He had been told that was one of his bad habits. “Brooding”, as it was described. He let a little huff out through his nose and pushed himself to his feet, slinging his bag over his shoulder. 

People stopped and chatted, swirling around each other like eddies in a river, making it impossible to walk straight through.

He curled his hand into a tight fist at his side and squeezed, then released. It was a stress relieving technique he learned a while ago. Now it was just a habit. 

“Excuse me.” he mumbled, half under his breath as he began to push his way through. 

With one look at him everyone parted on their own, peering up at him with sideways glances. 

Brooding does have its uses, he thought as he finally found the door and made his way down the steps, into the crows of freshman.  
-

Rey, frankly, was overwhelmed. So many people around her, on all sides, yelling and laughing across the crowd to their friends. They all seemed to know where they were going, ebbing with the flow of the bodies despite the sheer mass of people. Rey, for the first time since arriving, was feeling a bit of a sensory overload.

Rey clutched her schedule in her right hand for dear life. It was probably wrinkled and damp with palm sweat, but she didn’t care. She would not lose that slip of paper. Thinking about it made her want to check it again, not that she hadn’t done that ten times in the past hour anyway. She paused and rooted herself against the people jostling against her, unfolding the schedule. 

English literature at 2:15, english literature at 2:15, english- Oi!

She slammed into something- someone.

“Sorry, I-” she looked up, and had to keep going until her neck was bent back. 

“Watch where you’re going.” he said, his lips twitching. 

The man pushed past Rey and was soon swallowed by the now thinning crowd, his dark waves bobbing a head above most. 

Rey shook her head. Were so many people in this world really that cross all the time? Rey couldn’t imagine living in such a way. After everything she’d been through, the only way she could truly stick it to the universe was to keep her chin up and heart happy. She looked back, annoyance starting to prick. 

Rey huffed to herself and stuffed her schedule in her pocket. She supposed she was being a little obsessive. 

I should give myself a break, she thought. She squared her shoulders and hiked her bag up on her back. 

With a little extra power in her walk, Rey began her trek across campus.  
-

 

“You’re looking chipper.” Hux said, his clipped accent dripping with sarcasm as Kylo entered the library break room. Then again, when wasn’t Hux sarcastic. 

Ben gave a half-hearted huh in response.

“Someone mess with your coffee this morning?” 

Why did that man always insist on prodding? Ben had him pinned as somewhat of a sadist. Technically Hux was under Ben, but Ben didn’t mind letting him take control when he wanted. It was just the library, for God’s sake. If Hux wanted to be the smiling face at the front desk, then why would Ben stop him. Ben became a little bit of a doormat around Hux, but it was all he could do to keep from blowing up at him. 

“All of these freshman,” Ben said, offering Hux conversation. He set down his bag and grabbed his lunch from the fridge. “Coming in and... messing with things.” 

“That sounds like a strangely personal gripe.” Hux said. “You are a bit of a control freak sometimes.”

Ben ignored the jab and kept talking. “I mean, just today! I was leaving the introduction and one ran right into me. She had her nose in a paper and wasn’t even looking where she was going. It’s like they think they’re.. They’re entitled to something and think they can just change the way things are done.”

“It sounds like technically you ran into each other.” Hux said smugly, leaning against the counter with a mug in hand. He sipped his coffee. “Maybe you should give her the benefit of the doubt.”

“Right.” Ben said, going back to his lunch, wishing he could wipe that smirk off his face.

“Speaking of freshman, we need to find new pages.” 

Ben groaned out loud before he could stop himself. To think he actually forgot about this until now. Luckily, there was still about a week before they officially began taking applications. 

“Can’t you oversee that this year?” 

Hux laughed drily. “Raise my pay to your salary, and I’d be happy to.”

-

Rey fell heavily onto her bed, flipping onto her back and closing her eyes, letting the tension drain from her mind. Her first class of freshman year, officially over. 

She peered over to the empty bed on the opposite wall. Her roommate hadn’t shown up yet, but Rey didn’t mind the quiet for now. There was so much on her mind, it felt like there was noise to spare. 

Clubs, sororities, and basically every other group that someone could possibly join had been handing out flyers and making announcements and telling Rey to get involved. 

Rey wasn’t usually the “getting involved” type. Even though Rey lived in a group home for as long as she could remember, she never really felt like she fit in with those around her. Many of the girls played sports or joined programs, but Rey prefered to stay home and read or tinker with her parts. 

Her nickname, given to her by Mother Elizabeth, was Scavenger. She was always grabbing little screws and coils and pieces of discarded things and making little collections. Most of the other girls thought her strange for it, but she learned to ignore them when it was one of the few things she felt happy doing. 

“What have you got there, Scavenger?” Mother Liz said.

“Not sure.” Rey said, her head propped against a pillow as she laid in bed. “Found it under the bookshelf in the library.” 

“Ah.” Mother Liz said, her voice alight with interest. She reached for the slim piece of metal. “It’s very beautiful. Will you make something with it?”

Rey shrugged. She kicked her feet over the side of the bed and dropped to the floor, peering under her bed and reaching for her box. She slid out the small wooden chest, no longer than her forearm and popped open the lid. She set the small piece of metal among the treasure trove of other items she had found throughout the years. 

As Rey gingerly closed the slid and slid it back under the bed, she noticed Mother Liz watching her in quite an interesting way. 

“You’re something, little Scavenger.” 

Rey tucked herself into bed so only her eyes peeked out. She looked around the room where other girls lay sleeping in their beds. 

“Mother Liz?” Rey asked.

“Yes, love?” she said, standing. 

“Will I ever find a home?” 

Mother Liz smiled, rather sadly. “Of course, Rey. I hope you’re not worrying about it often.”

Mother Liz smoothed the covers on Rey’s bed and gave her foot a reassuring pat. “Everyone has a home. Sometimes it comes to you, sometimes you need to find it.”

Rey broke away from the memory as her hand went to her neck. Around it was a small necklace, made of a small knot of thread and shiny coin she had gotten from her scavenging box. It was a reminder of Mother Liz’s kindness in the short time she was there for Rey.

Mother Liz passed away suddenly from ovarian cancer when Rey was eleven. The slight bit of connection Rey had to the rest of the home vanished, and she only became more isolated as time went by. She was especially targeted by Miss Plutt, the new overseer of the home who took over when Mother Liz passed. 

Rey was seen as a problem child for her habit of picking fights and unladylike manners, which was always concerning to potential parents. Miss Plutt didn’t like troublemakers, which made Rey even more of a target for her reprimanding.

“Rey, I swear!” Miss Plutt said, scolding.

Rey simply turned her eyes downwards and kept her lips in a firm line. She had learned the hard way that talking back was the worst thing she could do. A memory of a hard slap across the face and hot tears of shame rolling down her cheeks flashed through Rey’s mind.

“Is this not the third time today I’ve told you to clean up your bed?” 

Plutt’s skin was flushed with anger and little tendrils of hair mixed with sweat stuck to her forehead. She lumbered about with her round body, placing a pudgy hand on hip. 

Rey bit down her defiance. “Sorry, Miss Plutt.”  
Plutt hmphed and gave Rey a disgusted once over. “At this rate you’ll never be adopted. Why would anyone ever want such an unorganized, filthy girl.”

Tears pricked Rey’s eyes but she kept her face neutral, save for the slightest twitch of her lip. 

“Yes, Miss Plutt. Sorry, Miss Plutt.” she whispered.

“Don’t apologize to me when the person you really should be apologizing to is yourself. You’ll never be wanted acting and looking the way you do.”

Later that night, Rey looked at herself in the bathroom mirror. She had washed herself carefully and thoroughly, wondering if there was any dirt she might have missed or spots on her body that she didn’t clean well enough. Maybe if she could erase her freckles or prevent her hair from becoming so tangled someone might think her to be cleaner, easier to manage. 

For the longest time, Rey was convinced there was truly something wrong with her. Every girl came and went at some point or another, but Rey was there until she was eighteen. It wasn’t until then that she realized that sometimes life didn’t go the way you initially planned. 

Rey decided to start over. Technically, she could’ve gone to school in the UK, but she wanted to move as far from there as possible. She had always wanted to travel, so she found a program for overseas students to go to school in the US and applied. When she was accepted, she barely looked back. Everything she cared about she could fit into a suitcase. 

Rey turned over in bed. She didn’t like reminiscing in the past, but some days it was hard to resist. 

She turned her mind to hope as she drifted off to sleep. Bitterness would eat away at her soul until she was nothing left but a shell of who she used to be. Hope was bright and hope was promise, that even though she had yet to find her home, she would not give up.

Hope had carried her this far, and it would carry her further still. 

-

Ben was just turning the key in his door as his phone began to buzz somewhere inside his bag. 

“Shit.” he said through his teeth, stumbling into his apartment and throwing his bag on the floor. He dug around until he reached it all the way at the bottom, still vibrating steadily.  
He didn’t look to see who it was before he hastily hit answer. “Yes, hello?”

“Ben?” a familiar voice said. 

Ben didn’t say anything for a moment, letting silence sit on the line for a while. 

“Hi, Mom.” he said, finally. 

“It’s been a while since you called me.” she said, her voice strong as ever, but sadder than usual. 

“Yeah, well, I did try calling a few weeks ago but you didn’t answer.” Ben said, tucking the phone in between his ear and shoulder. He picked his backpack up and began walking to his room while he talked. “Things have been busy.” 

Leia gave a small hm. “I’m sure it has.”

Ben was always amazed at her ability to convict him even though she was obviously doing just fine. She was the same fiery, witty woman that she always had been, simply older. 

“Is there anything you want?” Ben asked.

“Ben,” Leia said, slightly exasperated. “Why do you have to assume I’m calling you for a reason? I just want to talk. I want to know about your life, what’s going on with you. How is work, how is the apartment, have you gone on any hot dates. Those kinds of things.”

Definitely no dates, Ben thought. 

“I don’t know Mom, everything is normal. Work is work and the apartment is nothing special.”

She remained silent on the other end.

“And no- no dates.” 

“Well, that’s a shame.” Leia replied. She sighed. “Ben, if you don’t take one girl on a date before I die then my ghost will knock things out of your cabinets in the middle of the night until you do.”

Ben wanted to say it wasn’t that simple, that he hadn’t so much as met a woman who he liked in a few years, that he didn’t know where to begin as far as finding someone who he could commit to, that most women saw him as undesirable, that-. 

“Just try and lighten up a bit, okay? You could use a little more love in your life.”

“I’ve got to go, Mom. Talk to you soon.” 

Leia said goodbye and Ben hung up. He tossed his phone onto his bed. 

“A little more love.” he repeated to himself, laughing sarcastically. “Unlikely.”


	2. Chapter 2

_Knock knock knock._

Rey jumped up, having fallen asleep at her desk with her face in the middle of her textbook. She stumbled up from her chair and wiped the grime from her eyes. Her mouth was heavy with sleep.

Why someone was knocking on the door, she had no idea. A quick check of the time revealed it was 1:30AM. 

“Who is it?” Rey called to whoever was standing on the other side of the door.

“It’s your roommate!” Rey wrenched open the door at that. A petite woman with her hair tied into a small ponytail stood on the other side, two suitcases behind her. Glasses and wispy bangs framed her face. 

“Agh! Sorry, it’s like, so late right now. I’m Rose.” Rose grinned widely and let out a little squeal, then enveloped Rey in a hug. Rey, someone awkwardly returned it. She didn't think she'd ever met someone with so much energy. 

Rose laughed giddily. “Sorry, I’m just so happy to be here and finally meet you.”

“I’m Rey.” Rey replied through a yawn. 

“Sorry,” she laughed. “I fell asleep in my textbook.”

Rose chuckled lightly, her contagious smile spreading across her whole face and making her eyes crinkle. Rey backed out of the way so Rose could shuffle in. 

“There was some confusion with my dorm. They accidentally put me in the upperclassman housing.” 

“Yikes.” Rey replied, helping Rose lug a suitcase. “Bet that was awkward.” 

“You’re telling me.” Rose scoffed. “Not to mention having to move out again completely and wondering if I should say goodbye to my roommate even though she wasn’t really my roommate which was awkward, but I didn’t want to be rude, you know-”

Rey blinked at how many words suddenly came rushing out. Rose suddenly stopped and her cheeks tinged pink. “Sorry, I talk a lot. It just- it just all rushes out, and I want to stop but-.”

Rose turned to Rey and nudged her glasses up onto her nose. “Talking is hard.”

Rey met Rose’s eyes and they both burst into a fit of giggles. 

“You’re telling me talking is hard.” Rey said, catching her breath. Both girls laughed even harder ,not really knowing the reason why. Maybe deep down, they both needed it. 

-

Hux passed a sheet over to Ben’s desk.

“Here’s the draft, already approved.” he said, sipping his coffee. “You should make the font bigger by a few points.”

Ben grunted in response. He opened the document on his laptop and began working on the last minute edits. The beginning of the year always put him in a bad mood. He felt like he had to focus more on paperwork than actually doing his job. Sometimes he felt like he wasn’t paid enough. 

“Agh, shit!” Hux exclaimed. Ben bent over to see past his screen and saw Hux had spilled his coffee all over himself and his desk, including all the papers that were on it. 

_Definitely not paid enough._ Ben bent back to his computer screen.

“Christ, Ben, at least show some concern.” 

“It’s not my fault you spilled coffee on yourself.” He continued typing, determined to stay focused and let Hux deal with his own mess.

“If you go down to Bespin Beans and get me a new one now, and coffee every day for the rest of the week, I’ll finish the page application work. I’ll even help with an interview… or two.”

Ben stopped typing mid sentence. He glanced up from his screen at Hux. Hux bent his neck in anticipation. 

“Fine.” Ben spit out. Even he would be an errand boy for Hux if it meant he got a break from this hell. He grabbed his backpack and was out the door before Hux could change his mind. It wasn’t until he was halfway across campus that he emerged from his thoughts and realized he had forgotten to ask Hux what kind of coffee he wanted.

-

The door jingled as Rey entered Bespin Beans. Rose had insisted they stop here before Monday classes.

“It totally helps wake you up, and I love supporting cute local businesses.” she had said on the walk over. Fall was just beginning to set in and a slight chill hung in the air. Rey wore a sporty hoodie and leggings, her hair pulled back into a tight ponytail. She loved being outdoors, and the beautiful weather made her want to go for a run around the scenic campus. 

A line of people was already formed from the cash register and baristas ran around behind the counter shouting orders and preparing new drinks. 

_So this place must be all it’s cracked up to be._ Rey realized she remembers seeing various students with Bespin Beans cups throughout the day. Peering at the menu, Rey pondered what drink she might want to try. She never was much of a coffee drinker, but she figured she would try it, new experiences and such. 

Her focus drifted from the menu and down to the rest of the little cafe. The floors were a gorgeous wood and the walls were a soft blue. Yellow accents adorned the room, as well as other homey trinkets and twinkling lights that gave the room a cozy, homey feeling. 

Rey’s eyes drifted to the man standing, clasping his wrist in his hand in front of his waist. Recognition hit her.

It was the guy who ran into her yesterday. Dislike flared in Rey’s stomach as she stepped forward with the moseying line. It seemed like he carried a thundercloud with him, his lips pursed and brow knitted in deep thought as he stared at the floor. Not to mention the fact that he was a fucking massive guy. All of the space around him seemed to be shrunken down, like he took up more of it than was possible. And he wasn’t just tall, but strongly built with an obviously muscular body and powerful stance.

The man’s eyes flicked up and met Rey’s. She looked away as quickly as possible and felt her face heat up in the slightest at being caught staring. 

It was Rey’s turn to step up to the counter. She felt a little awkward ordering and fiddling with the coins that the cashier handed back to her, trying to stuff them in her wallet before the person behind her got annoyed. She looked up from her wallet and saw the large man still standing there. 

Rey took a spot a few feet to the left of him as she waited for the barista to finish her drink. Even though she had nothing to say to him, she could feel tension radiating in the air between them. He obviously recognized her, but made no move to apologize for being rude to her the other day. Rey snuck another sideways glance as the barista called him for his drink. He simply nodded in the woman’s direction, no thanks spoken. 

His eyes met hers once more as he turned from the counter and began to walk away. Rey didn’t look away first, though. She kept eye contact for as long as possible, though it all didn’t last more than two seconds. She was determined to let him know that she wasn’t perturbed by him or his intimidating appearance. If he wanted to give her the silent treatment, then Rey had no problem returning the favor. 

The doors jingled as he left and began stalking across the street. 

-

Rey sipped her coffee as her and Rose walked back to campus. Rose carried the conversation with no problem. Rey simply interjected when she felt was necessary. 

“Rose?” Rey asked during a quiet lull. 

“Mhm?” Rose replied as she took a drink through her straw.

“Did you see that guy in Bespin Beans? The really tall one.”

“Most people are tall to me, Rey.” Rose joked, and Rey gave her a look. 

Rose giggled. “Sorry, I didn’t notice him."

Rey replied with a soft oh and frowned. 

Rose’s voice instantly darkened. “Did he say something to you?” 

“Oh! No, no, no.” Rey replied. “He’s just a _massive_ asshole.”

“Oh my God, say that again.” Rose said. 

“What?” Rey said, grinning. “Massive asshole?”

Rose cackled. “When you curse it sounds amazing.”

“You’re unbelievable.” Rey rolled her eyes jokingly.

“But seriously Rey,” Rose said, reigning in her laughter. “If he does ever give you a hard time, point him out to me and I’ll totally kick his ass.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The Rey and Rose friendship is one of my favorite things- they are going to have so much fun. If you enjoyed the chapter let me know! 
> 
> (@silentreylo on twitter and @silentamethyst on tumblr!)


	3. Chapter 3

“Having fun?” Rose shouted over the thumping din of music and hum of voices. 

Rey clutched her drink uncomfortably. She tried to smile at Rose, but it came out more like a wince. She would much rather be home, alone, curled up and reading a good book. Or sleeping. That was always a good option. Her first week of college hadn’t exactly been a breeze. 

Rey checked the time. It was already past midnight and Rose didn’t seem like she was slowing down any time soon. Rey found a nice, solitary corner where few people seemed to be congregating. 

"Not your thing?" someone said. She turned and looked into the face of a very cute boy. 

Rey laughed. "No, not really."

His jaw dropped playfully. "You're British?" 

"Yep." Rey nodded. "I'm Rey."

"I'm Chris." He smiled and Rey couldn't help but stop a grin from forming on her own face. 

They chatted for a while and at the end, exchanged numbers. Chris left the party early and Rey found herself checking her phone, hoping to see a text from him pop up. It never did.

-

Just about two hours later, Rey was standing under a warm shower attempting to wash the grime of dozens of other sweaty, alcohol filled bodies off of her. Rose was already in bed. She collapsed as soon as they got in the door, stumbling face first into her pillow and moaning a muffled goodnight. 

It only took Rey once to realize parties weren’t her thing. At least, not yet. She could see herself making friends, going over to a familiar house and spending time with people she was comfortable with. But standing amidst a jostling crowd of strangers was not her idea of a fun time. She did meet Chris, though, and he seemed like a genuinely nice guy. Rey tried not to get discouraged that he hadn't texted her. He probably had more important things to do.

She let the water run over her face. Back at the group home, the bathroom was one of the few places she could be truly alone. It was also the only room with a lock in the house. Showering was her time alone to think, to cry, to let the stresses and trials of her life wash down the drain. She would often stand under the running water for an hour, much to the grievance of Miss  
Plutt. 

Rey would hear her banging on the door and telling her to hurry up, that other girls were waiting, but Rey didn’t listen. That was her time and she wouldn’t let anyone take it from her, even if it meant less of a helping at dinner or an extra few chores around the home. 

Rey shut off the water and let the droplets roll down her face. She stood there for a few more minutes, her head leaning up against the shower wall. Even the water couldn’t wash everything down the drain. Loneliness yawned like a ghost, and Rey simply let it take her. 

-

Ben danced on his feet, back and forth, his hands positioned in a ready stance. He let another punch fly at the bag, the satisfying _whump_ reverberating up his arm and into his chest. 

Nothing like a little kickboxing to let off some steam. 

He kept on his toes, trying to stay somewhat centered as he attacked the bag, punch after punch and kick after kick.

He pursed his lips and let out a little huff of frustration. He landed another solid punch, then another. Ben thought of all of the little annoyances that grated on him at work. He punched again, this time adding a kick for good measure. 

Ben let himself get lost in his frustrations, no longer thinking about the precision of his punches rather than just letting them land as hard as possible. He grit his teeth and wound up for an especially hard kick, which he let loose with a growl. Anger tugged at his thoughts like threads. He kick harder the second time. Then harder still a third time, until he was kicking over and over with no thought left to technique. He was simply taking out his frustrations on the bag. 

When Ben finally stopped himself, he noticed the gym had gone strangely quiet. Save for the thumping of hip-hop coming from the speakers, most of those in the gym were giving Ben a sideways glance. He placed his hands on either side of the bag to steady himself. After taking a few deep breaths Ben grabbed his water and retreated to the locker room in silence. 

-

“So far we’ve only received about 12 applications.” Hux said. “That’s enough, but ideally we need a few more to widen the pool.” 

Ben simply nodded in response, keeping his hand folded over his mouth. He rotated his sore ankle under his desk. He shouldn’t have kicked that bag so hard. 

“Ben.” Hux said, more bitingly. “Snap out of it. Are you feeling sick?”

“I twisted my ankle.” Ben mumbled.

“Oh, _right_.” Hux said, lifting his eyebrows. “Maybe take a look at these while you _recuperate_ ”. Hux tossed the pile of applications in front of Ben before walking out of the room briskly. 

For that, Ben could have kicked a hundred more times no matter how bad his ankle was bothering him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm alive! Now that school's out I'm actually going to try and work on this. It's a good motivator for me to do something productive. This chapter is a little shorter, but I'm giving myself a little more wiggle room when it comes to word count since it tends to hinder my process if all I'm doing is focusing on hitting 3k words and such. 
> 
> If you enjoyed let me know! 
> 
> @silentamethyst on tumbr  
> @kyloki_ on twitter


	4. Chapter 4

“I’m just trying to get more involved around campus, but I’m not ready for a full time job. I figured this would help me make connections since I’m new to this… area.”

Rey wrung her hands nervously in her lap. She was taking a leap of faith applying for this page position. Rose had convinced her for the most part, but Chris (who _finally_ had texted her the next day) had said he was also applying. So that was some incentive. Since Rey was also planning on doing something literature related with her major, she figured working in the library of all places would be beneficial. 

“Anything else you would like to discuss? Concerns?” The ginger man with the name Rey had a hard time remembering.

“No, I think that’s all.” Rey said. Hux, she remembered.

“Well,” Hux said, pinching his face into a smile. “I would love to add you to our team. Can you come in next Thursday for orientation?”

Rey beamed. “Yes, yes! Of course. Thank you!”

She stood and shook Hux’s hand and pulled her phone out of her bag as soon as she got out the door. She dialed Rose.

“Helloooo?” Rose sang.

“Guess what!” Rey whispered in a singsong voice.

“You got the job?” Rose asked fervently.

“I got the job!” 

“WOOOO!” Rose squealed. Rey chuckled and pulled the phone away from her ear, wincing slightly.

“When do you start?” Rose asked.

Rey wedged the phone between her ear as she dug into her bag for a piece of gum. “Thursday. But I’m- Oi!”

Rey’s phone flew from her hand and clattered to the floor next to a pair of large feet. 

“Excuse me.” A voice rumbled. Rey craned her neck up. 

Fuck _me._

“Can you watch where you’re going?” Rey snapped. “We’re not at the fucking races.”  
The man made some noise between a snort and huff.

“Right.” 

He nudged past her and shouldered open the door to one of the offices in the back rooms of the library. The door slammed shut with a reverberating thud, making some of the photos on the wall shake. A gold plate on the door read “Ben Solo, Head Librarian”.

Rey was fuming, but also royally embarrassed as she swiped her phone off the floor. Rose was still there. 

“Rose, you’re not going to believe this, but that guy, the asshole guy from the coffee shop, the guy I just cursed out-"

"Wait, you- _what_?"

"I think he’s my boss.”

-

“You _what_?”

“I accepted her.” Hux said obviously. 

Ben ran his hands over his face. “You had one job.”

Hux laughed. “How do you even know her?” 

“I’ve- run into her a few times. Literally. As in, just ran into her because she was talking on the phone and not watching where she was going. And she had the nerve to talk to me like it was my fault.” 

Hux huffed incredulously. “Are you eleven years old? You’re acting like a child.”

“I value professionalism in the workplace.”

“For Christ’s sake, Ben, you’re really a pain in the ass.”

Ben clenched his fist in and out. Days like this made him feel off-kilter. The little center he had was awry and anger sparked in his gut. Ben caught Hux staring at him, obviously noticing his perturbed state. 

“You need a drink.” Hux said , shaking his head and looking back down to his computer. 

-

Later that night, Ben was several beers deep in Hux’s advice. 

For being such a large man, Ben didn’t take his liquor well. He was a sad drunk, unlike many of his classmates who, their first years of college, drove their trees into cars or jumped off roofs and ended up in the hospital. All Ben had to show for it was many drunken journals filled with writing tucked away somewhere where nobody would _ever_ find them. Ever. He nearly shuddered at the thought of it.

Ben lay sprawled out on his couch in sweatpants and nothing else, staring blankly at the TV as the mindless show half-entered his consciousness. He pressed his hands to his eyes and felt a headache already forming, the beer making him feel slow and liquid. 

Ben fumbled for the remote and switched off the TV. He hated watching TV. It reminded him that his life lacked substance. He wondered where his passion had gone. It had slipped away from him and bitterness refilled the space it left. He wished he could have the fervor he once did for creating, for writing. 

Ben- somewhat unsteadily- rose from the couch and meandered to his bookshelf. Nearly as tall as the ceiling in his apartment, books completely filled the shelves, in some places even having to be stacked on top of the rows because there was no more room. Ben used to pride himself in his collection, now he ignored it most of the time. He used to go to it for inspiration, but now it simply reminded him that he had no inspiration.

He ran his fingers along the spines. The familiar feel of the books brought him back to his younger years in Luke’s home. The smell of coffee or tea brewing in the next room. One of Luke's cats, Artoo, rubbing his plump body against Ben's ankles, chirping for attention. Luke sighing lightly as he sat in his chair and flipped a page, the soft scratch audible because of the quiet which permeated the home. 

Ben shut his eyes and forced out the memory. When he opened them, he nearly laughed at the book his finger had landed on. Ben slid it out and ran the pages under his thumb. The familiar scent of an aging book tickled Ben’s nose as he ran his fingers along the cover. 

_Twin Suns, A collection of poems by Luke Skywalker_

Ben thumbed open the book until he fell on the last page. 

_  
Twin Suns_

_A forlorn goodbye  
And hello to elsewhere._

_Peace  
And purpose. _

_There is always welcome_  
For those gone astray  
In the embrace of the twin suns. 

Ben felt betrayal and sadness swirl around him like an angry storm. This was the last poem Luke had written before disappearing, before his prized student had brought shame to his practice. Ben knew the poem was for him, but his heart was still in the wrong place. He had barely written anything for so many years. And if he did, he tucked it far, far away out of shame and disgust for himself. Luke had written this poem for him, but Ben knew Luke was a different man now. Ben would no longer have to face the hopeful and welcoming man that he remembered from so many years ago. Ben had humiliated Luke and ruined his life as a respected author and instructor. The blame had fallen on Luke when Ben knew someone else was responsible entirely. Someone who had preyed on Ben and taken advantage of his pride as an upcoming author. Maybe someday Ben would have the strength to apologize to tell Luke the truth, if Luke would be willing to listen.

Ben thumbed through the book once more and a small card slipped out from between the pages and onto the floor. Ben stooped over and picked it up. On it was a handwritten note and phone number.

_Should you ever need anything.  
A. Snoke _

Ben, deep down, knew he should throw the card away. It made perfect sense to throw the card away and move on considering how much ruin his past had brought. 

Maybe it was the beer, or maybe it was just the apprehension of moving on, but Ben tucked the card back into the book then slid it back to its place in the shelf, giving it a long look before stumbling to bed and falling into a drunken sleep. 

-

_To: Chris_

_Rey: guess what! i got the page job!_

_Chris: That's awesome! Can't say the same for me, though_

_Rey: oh, damn! i'm sorry about that_

_Chris: no, it's cool. I probably should focus more on studying anyway since I've got to keep my GPA up for this scholarship. Also, the librarian seems like a real tight ass_

_Rey: Tell me about it. but i think there's mutual dislike between us. lol_

_Chris: I was going to ask- are you free this weekend?_

_Rey: umm  
yeah i think so!_

_Chris: Want to catch a movie?_

_Rey: sure!!_

_Chris: Awesome, so Saturday at 8 sound good?_

_Rey: yep_

_Chris: Cool, it's a date_

__

Rey threw her phone onto the bed and smiled. Maybe, just maybe, things were finally beginning to fall into place.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> usjdsdhgd writing is hard. hoping to get in the groove of getting these posted weekly at a minimum. thanks to everyone leaving kudos!
> 
> tumblr: @silentamethyst  
> twitter: @kyloki_

**Author's Note:**

> I have no idea how to write about college so this is completely a personal romp. I hope it's somewhat good :") I'm going to hopefully update regularly, maybe not always on Wednesdays, but we'll see.


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